Angry, Sad & Frustrated … The Allergy Saga
Allergy. Ugly Word.
I have struggled with allergies for my entire life … there has always been some simple and silly allergen getting in my way of enjoying life. When I was little it was cats — I could never hang out with friends who had cats. I never spent much time cuddling our beautiful and fun kitties. It was always something that I wanted to do, but, if I did, I would walk away with red, itchy and bulging eyes, and scratchy everything. But, through my teens and early 20s, my allergies waned and could be kept under control with a little Claritin and over the counter allergy meds.
Now, in my 30s, my allergies have shown their ugly face again in the form of massive sinus issues, and, now, painful, difficult allergic asthma. I have written about my recent struggles with allergies here before — I was angry and frustrated then and I still am now. It is not the sinus issues that have thrown me, I know those — I know how to deal with and control those. It is the asthma that has really thrown me off. It has has threatened to thrown me off of everything — it limits how hard I can exercise, just as I was starting to enjoy jogging; it causes me issue when working the job I have loved for years because I have to be so cautious of what smells I come in contact with when working events and running around; and, last weekend, it severely limited how much I could do — physically and mentally. I actually found myself lying on the bed resting to catch my breathe during an asthma flair … almost in tears. Why me? Why asthma? Why now?
I am angry, I am sad and I am pissed. Really pissed. Just when I have tons of energy, I am physically on track with weight loss and my career is hitting its stride and poised for growth, my allergies are threatening to take me down. So, I’m fighting, I’m researching and I’m trying every option. Immunotherphy soon, salt air therapy now and just will keep fighting till I find the way to make these issues a thing of the past.
I know, it’s not cancer, it is not TB … but there is no cure for asthma. I will be dealing with this forever, every day from here on out. And I am going to fight it and make it something that is rare, not the norm (and hopefully without tons of meds). I am praying, hoping and trying to find the silver lining.
Maybe this is God’s way of taking me down a path I never thought of … maybe. Let’s hope and pray that it is a good path.